All English Sonnets
SUICIDE – I
Ah! once my dreams were lofty, roaring, grand,
But some one shattered them an’ I pretended,
That human life is like the drifting sand,
Where nothing is interesting or splendid.
This ruse is what I always have employed,
And delving in self-pity have enjoyed,
Protective shield of self-defeating ruses,
But all my grave assertion and excuses.
Have harmed me badly and I much offended,
Have cursed my cowardice and often toyed,
With idea of suicide, unattended,
To fill this nameless, sifting fearful void.
Of life’s self deception and to face,
With courage all its wiles find solace.